What inspires you? You might be surprised, so take a look around and see what He's put in front of you.
Today, I posted a picture of what inspired me to name this blog Concrete Dove. Every day on my way to work I pass over this slab of concrete with a dove-shaped crack and every day it reminds me to start my workday with a prayer, and to give thanks for the day, the job, and so much more. It's my quiet time.
When the idea of writing a blog started rolling around in my head, the name came to me without even second guessing. It was right in front of me every day. If you look closely, you'll see a white line in the concrete. Use your imagination. I see it like a pencil drawing; almost like what a child might draw. I like to see it as holding the proverbial olive branch in its beak (that are actually two black asphalt patches). The wings are outstretched, from the top to the bottom of the picture, and the bird is facing left with the branch. This morning when I saw that the morning snow had filled the crack, making it stand out, I had to get a camera to snap the picture and finally post it. Let me know if you can see it, too.
What is concrete? Here's how Merriam-Webster on-line defines it:
As a noun-A mass formed by concretion or coalescence of separate particles of matter in one body, a hard strong building material.
As an adjective-Characterized by or belonging to immediate experience of actual things or events, naming a real thing.
As a verb- To cover with, form of, or set in concrete; to form into a solid mass.
Can you see how the Word of God is like concrete (only better)? A solid foundation. Something we can hold on to. It covers us with His protection. It holds us up straight and strong. It withstands any storm. Together we are one body, in Him.
Stand firm, in His Word. Learn It, Know It, Live It!
Watch this video featuring Bebo Norman's song I Will Lift Up My Eyes. It's filled with beautiful Psalms (more of that concrete) and pictures.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FtAjrNqEsoM
Today I'm thinking of and praying for Loretta, Betty, Linda, WCC, Nicki, Renee, Hunter, Dayton, Isabell, Allishia, John, Mike, and Candy all are sick or hurting in some way, and need His help. Please say a prayer for them, too.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Keep the Faith
The Lord has answered my prayers again. Recently, my time has been focused in other areas, keeping me away. I haven't been able to post since Feb. 12th and been asking Him for inspiration and time to write. We've been busy painting at our house and in the middle of it my mother-in-law, Loretta, became very ill and went into the hospital.
First answer, Loretta is doing much better and will recover soon. Second answer, my friend Vicki wrote a great e-mail, excited about her bible study which she allowed me to share it with you here.
Vicki is a dear friend, and a member of the Life Transformation Group (LTG) held at our Church, as am I. Our goal is to read the entire bible, cover to cover, in one year. We are now in our second year and learning even more than the first. Funny how God works, isn't it?
Since I had aways hoped to have guest authors, I thought what better time to begin than with this message from Vicki. The excerpts will help those unfamiliar with the Gospel of Mark to better understand Vicki's message. Enjoy!
Mark 5 (Excerpts from the chapter) NLT
Jesus Heals a Demon-Possessed Man
2 When Jesus climbed out of the boat, a man possessed by an evil[b] spirit came out from a cemetery to meet him. . . .
8 For Jesus had already said to the spirit, “Come out of the man, you evil spirit.”
9 Then Jesus demanded, “What is your name?”And he replied, “My name is Legion, because there are many of us inside this man.”
10 Then the evil spirits begged him again and again not to send them to some distant place.
11 There happened to be a large herd of pigs feeding on the hillside nearby.
12 “Send us into those pigs,” the spirits begged. “Let us enter them.”
13 So Jesus gave them permission. The evil spirits came out of the man and entered the pigs, and the entire herd of 2,000 pigs plunged down the steep hillside into the lake and drowned in the water.
Hope your having a fantabulous day! I wanted to share my Bible study with you.
So I'm reading Numbers and the Lord is speaking to me. The theme is faith. He's speaking to me loud and clear and all over the place about faith in Him and nothing else.
The 40 years of wandering began and ends at the very spot they lost their faith. I want to walk toward the Lord in faith and not follow my flesh in circles. How did it happen that so many lost faith! Who was first and spread it!!
The earth is the dessert and we are all set up in our tribes with many reminders (like the tent of meetings) right in front of us of who should be the center of our lives yet we still grumble about everything and bow down to time - food - desire - pride - the list goes on and on - ugh! Why? have we lost faith?
Then I move on to read Mark - and the legion wants Jesus to cast him (them) into the pigs - why? - because he (they) can rule there - pigs have no faith to fight against legion. Then the people -the sad sad people are afraid and ask Jesus to leave - why???? - because they have no faith and they are afraid the legions will be cast into them and they will lose the battle like the pigs - because they have no faith - like the pigs!!
Lord I want to have faith in only You! Help me to keep You at the center in every movement of every situation and stop my grumbling and give thanks. Keep me on the path toward You and when I'm walking in circles following my flesh please remind me to call out to You to fight the legion with my faith in You! May You be the only one who rules in me!
Thank You Jesus!
First answer, Loretta is doing much better and will recover soon. Second answer, my friend Vicki wrote a great e-mail, excited about her bible study which she allowed me to share it with you here.
Vicki is a dear friend, and a member of the Life Transformation Group (LTG) held at our Church, as am I. Our goal is to read the entire bible, cover to cover, in one year. We are now in our second year and learning even more than the first. Funny how God works, isn't it?
Since I had aways hoped to have guest authors, I thought what better time to begin than with this message from Vicki. The excerpts will help those unfamiliar with the Gospel of Mark to better understand Vicki's message. Enjoy!
Mark 5 (Excerpts from the chapter) NLT
Jesus Heals a Demon-Possessed Man
2 When Jesus climbed out of the boat, a man possessed by an evil[b] spirit came out from a cemetery to meet him. . . .
8 For Jesus had already said to the spirit, “Come out of the man, you evil spirit.”
9 Then Jesus demanded, “What is your name?”And he replied, “My name is Legion, because there are many of us inside this man.”
10 Then the evil spirits begged him again and again not to send them to some distant place.
11 There happened to be a large herd of pigs feeding on the hillside nearby.
12 “Send us into those pigs,” the spirits begged. “Let us enter them.”
13 So Jesus gave them permission. The evil spirits came out of the man and entered the pigs, and the entire herd of 2,000 pigs plunged down the steep hillside into the lake and drowned in the water.
Hope your having a fantabulous day! I wanted to share my Bible study with you.
So I'm reading Numbers and the Lord is speaking to me. The theme is faith. He's speaking to me loud and clear and all over the place about faith in Him and nothing else.
The 40 years of wandering began and ends at the very spot they lost their faith. I want to walk toward the Lord in faith and not follow my flesh in circles. How did it happen that so many lost faith! Who was first and spread it!!
The earth is the dessert and we are all set up in our tribes with many reminders (like the tent of meetings) right in front of us of who should be the center of our lives yet we still grumble about everything and bow down to time - food - desire - pride - the list goes on and on - ugh! Why? have we lost faith?
Then I move on to read Mark - and the legion wants Jesus to cast him (them) into the pigs - why? - because he (they) can rule there - pigs have no faith to fight against legion. Then the people -the sad sad people are afraid and ask Jesus to leave - why???? - because they have no faith and they are afraid the legions will be cast into them and they will lose the battle like the pigs - because they have no faith - like the pigs!!
Lord I want to have faith in only You! Help me to keep You at the center in every movement of every situation and stop my grumbling and give thanks. Keep me on the path toward You and when I'm walking in circles following my flesh please remind me to call out to You to fight the legion with my faith in You! May You be the only one who rules in me!
Thank You Jesus!
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Just Do It!
Matthew 14:27-29 (NLT)
27 But Jesus spoke to them at once. “Don’t be afraid,” he said. “Take courage. I am here!”.
28 Then Peter called to him, “Lord, if it’s really you, tell me to come to you, walking on the water.”
29 “Yes, come,” Jesus said. So Peter went over the side of the boat and walked on the water toward Jesus.
30 But when he saw the strong wind and the waves, he was terrified and began to sink. “Save me, Lord!” he shouted.
It's music day again. I like to have a music day once a week. I was shooting for every Friday, but the last couple of weeks life has taken over so here I am this Sunday morning. This is a great Britt Nicole song, Walk on the Water, based on the story about Peter having enough faith to jump out of the boat and walk on water toward Christ, only to sink after loosing faith for an instant.
The link is to a video explaining how she came up with the song. Enjoy.
Britt Nicole - Walk On The Water - The Story Behind The Song SPARROW RECORDS (P) (C) 2009 Sparrow Records.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LAFup_5dPaQ&feature=related
Here's the song:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F4ptPEm8gjE
Music has become such a big part of my life, our lives here at home. Our youngest son Michael is 12 years old and plays the piano, drums, and some guitar. He's been taking piano lessons for over five years now and has gotten quite good. He recently competed in is first piano competition earning a 1st Division medal.
Michael worked on the Blue Danube Waltz for months leading up to the competition. As the competition approached we incorporated a sort of getting-ready-to-play attitude adjustment at the start of each practice. I was like a broken record saying, "First adjust the piano bench, then check your posture, breath, ask God to make your fingers find the notes, and allow you to be calm and focused during the performance." Michael is almost fearless when it comes to his music and playing piano. This competition was different though, he got nervous just as he entered the performance area where he would play for the judge. Michael plays at church sometimes, recitals, school talent shows, band performances, and for the seniors in his grandmother's apartment building. He has never felt that nervousness before and it surprised him.
When it was his turn we were lead into the choir room where the judge would hear Michael play. Of course, my husband and I were there, too, along with the performance chairperson. It was playing for that single judge that worried him, or perhaps it was the prospect of being judged. That's something that makes most of us nervous. Whatever it was caused him to lose confidence, or faith in himself, just long enough to produce a couple of rough spots in the piece, but just a couple. He recovered nicely and went on to play very well.
After the performance, the judge gave him glowing remarks and constructive criticism that Michael took very well. Coincidentally, the performance chairperson in the piano area was the Director of Bands for the high school Michael will be attending. Mr. Miller took the time to speak with Michael after the performance about what he's doing with his music, encouraging him to continue, and letting him know that Jazz Band was an actual class he could take at the HS level. At the end of the conversation he added that he was always looking for a good piano player. Watching my son being recruited, I felt like the mother of a sought-after athlete. The next Monday at school, Michael's band director let him know that Mr. Miller also spoke with him about Michael and that it was unusual for him to go out of his way to give compliments. Michael was elated. It been great for Michael and for us to see him succeed after what he thought was a flawed performance.
This enthusiasm Michael has for music is quite different from that which he has for school. He has ADD and the academic troubles that go along with it. We thought learning to play piano might help him in school so he started taking lessons at seven. School has been a real struggle for Michael and will probably continue that way, but we work at it as a family. What I do know is that he finds great joy and satisfaction in his musical ability, and that makes me happy. He knows his musical gift came from God. I believe that is why it is so easy for him to play in front of people without anxiety, for the most part. He is calm, confident, and joyful in sharing it his music with others, even looking forward to each event.
I'm also encouraging Michael to learn to rely on the Holy Spirit, to call on Him for help in school, in music, and anytime. He has already jumped out of the boat and once Michael learns to call on the HS for help in all situations he won't ever sink. Music is something that Michael can do well, no matter what happens in school. He makes people happy with it and that glorifies God. I'm convinced that Michael will be just fine in life. If he can read sheet music, (what I refer to as hieroglyphics), understand and apply musical terminology, make both hands do two different things sometimes in two different times, and make it sound beautiful, he's going to be OK. I thank God for that.
Just DO IT! Just jump out of the boat. Do what He calls you to do, and do it with all the faith that He is with you. Use your spiritual gifts the way He intends. Yes, you will sink from time to time, we all do because that's human nature. Never fear, He is always there to save you. Just DO IT!
27 But Jesus spoke to them at once. “Don’t be afraid,” he said. “Take courage. I am here!”.
28 Then Peter called to him, “Lord, if it’s really you, tell me to come to you, walking on the water.”
29 “Yes, come,” Jesus said. So Peter went over the side of the boat and walked on the water toward Jesus.
30 But when he saw the strong wind and the waves, he was terrified and began to sink. “Save me, Lord!” he shouted.
It's music day again. I like to have a music day once a week. I was shooting for every Friday, but the last couple of weeks life has taken over so here I am this Sunday morning. This is a great Britt Nicole song, Walk on the Water, based on the story about Peter having enough faith to jump out of the boat and walk on water toward Christ, only to sink after loosing faith for an instant.
The link is to a video explaining how she came up with the song. Enjoy.
Britt Nicole - Walk On The Water - The Story Behind The Song SPARROW RECORDS (P) (C) 2009 Sparrow Records.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LAFup_5dPaQ&feature=related
Here's the song:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F4ptPEm8gjE
Music has become such a big part of my life, our lives here at home. Our youngest son Michael is 12 years old and plays the piano, drums, and some guitar. He's been taking piano lessons for over five years now and has gotten quite good. He recently competed in is first piano competition earning a 1st Division medal.
Michael worked on the Blue Danube Waltz for months leading up to the competition. As the competition approached we incorporated a sort of getting-ready-to-play attitude adjustment at the start of each practice. I was like a broken record saying, "First adjust the piano bench, then check your posture, breath, ask God to make your fingers find the notes, and allow you to be calm and focused during the performance." Michael is almost fearless when it comes to his music and playing piano. This competition was different though, he got nervous just as he entered the performance area where he would play for the judge. Michael plays at church sometimes, recitals, school talent shows, band performances, and for the seniors in his grandmother's apartment building. He has never felt that nervousness before and it surprised him.
When it was his turn we were lead into the choir room where the judge would hear Michael play. Of course, my husband and I were there, too, along with the performance chairperson. It was playing for that single judge that worried him, or perhaps it was the prospect of being judged. That's something that makes most of us nervous. Whatever it was caused him to lose confidence, or faith in himself, just long enough to produce a couple of rough spots in the piece, but just a couple. He recovered nicely and went on to play very well.
After the performance, the judge gave him glowing remarks and constructive criticism that Michael took very well. Coincidentally, the performance chairperson in the piano area was the Director of Bands for the high school Michael will be attending. Mr. Miller took the time to speak with Michael after the performance about what he's doing with his music, encouraging him to continue, and letting him know that Jazz Band was an actual class he could take at the HS level. At the end of the conversation he added that he was always looking for a good piano player. Watching my son being recruited, I felt like the mother of a sought-after athlete. The next Monday at school, Michael's band director let him know that Mr. Miller also spoke with him about Michael and that it was unusual for him to go out of his way to give compliments. Michael was elated. It been great for Michael and for us to see him succeed after what he thought was a flawed performance.
This enthusiasm Michael has for music is quite different from that which he has for school. He has ADD and the academic troubles that go along with it. We thought learning to play piano might help him in school so he started taking lessons at seven. School has been a real struggle for Michael and will probably continue that way, but we work at it as a family. What I do know is that he finds great joy and satisfaction in his musical ability, and that makes me happy. He knows his musical gift came from God. I believe that is why it is so easy for him to play in front of people without anxiety, for the most part. He is calm, confident, and joyful in sharing it his music with others, even looking forward to each event.
I'm also encouraging Michael to learn to rely on the Holy Spirit, to call on Him for help in school, in music, and anytime. He has already jumped out of the boat and once Michael learns to call on the HS for help in all situations he won't ever sink. Music is something that Michael can do well, no matter what happens in school. He makes people happy with it and that glorifies God. I'm convinced that Michael will be just fine in life. If he can read sheet music, (what I refer to as hieroglyphics), understand and apply musical terminology, make both hands do two different things sometimes in two different times, and make it sound beautiful, he's going to be OK. I thank God for that.
Just DO IT! Just jump out of the boat. Do what He calls you to do, and do it with all the faith that He is with you. Use your spiritual gifts the way He intends. Yes, you will sink from time to time, we all do because that's human nature. Never fear, He is always there to save you. Just DO IT!
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Care for the Care Giver
Hebrews 13: 5(a) (NIV)
. . .God has said,
"Never will I leave you;
never will I forsake you."
Today, I'm thinking of the many care givers I know. There's Angie taking care of her husband with back pain, Barb taking care of her mom with cancer and her aging dad, and Bill taking care of his wife with cancer. Down the street, there's Harold who is 82 himself, taking care of his wife with Alzheimer's, and there's Kate at work that just had to move her mom out of her home and into a nursing home but still manages here affairs. There's me and my husband who look after my, still independent, mom and Down Syndrome sister that depend mainly on us for transportation. I'll guess that anyone who reads this can come up with a few people they know with care giving responsibilities.
We need to be thoughtful and prayerful for these people. Care giving is a full time job. They do this for someone they love while still trying to maintain some semblance of order in their own lives, as well. It can be a daunting responsibility and very taxing on the caregivers, both physically and emotionally. We are taking care of our loved ones, watching them suffer, while filling their prescriptions, cooking for them, taking them to a from the doctor's office, and the bathroom. After a while, it can get pretty tough for the caregiver to keep his or her spirits up, and not become resentful, or let it become more of a job than a labor of love.
I speak from experience. During my late father's third Chemo treatment, he has his first heart attack. By the end of that week he had a triple bypass the lead to more than 30 days in the hospital. During that time, my brother and I assumed all responsibility for her transportation, and began to interface with the doctors, of whom there were several by then. Little things, like a dust ball under his bed, began to irritate me. Eventually, every night, when I came to pick up my mom and sister from the hospital, I would complain about it still being there. How it reflected the poor care he was getting. When in fact, he was getting excellent care, he was just really, really sick. One night, when I arrived, I saw the expression on both of my parents' faces change from "happy to see you" to "oh no, she's back". That's when I realized it had become a job for me, and not a good one. This was just the beginning, and I had to change my outlook, in order to lessen my parents' struggle, to make it easier somehow. After all, they were facing the possibility of saying good bye to one another after almost 50 years. All it took was a smile and a kiss from me to make things a bit easier on them.
My dad would be sick for a long time, before the Lord finally took him. My parents were able to celebrate their 50th year together and almost got to 51 before on Valentines Day, 2007, Dad just said he was tired of fighting, and Mom said that it was ok. He was gone two days later, at home, with all of us around him. It was very peaceful. In those two days, I stayed with Mom and took care of Dad's needs so she could say good by. Since then, as Valentines Day approaches, I try to remember if I said good by, thanks for being a great dad, I remember when you make me that wooden whistle for me and took me fishing - - boy did I love spending time with you. I just can't remember. What I do remember is that during those two days, I was completely focused on his care, setting up hospice that would allow him to stay at home, getting the right meds administered through a feeding tube (he always did it himself), and taking care of all the other indignities that go along with physical weakness. None of it bothered me in the sense that I was able to function, as needed. I didn't get caught up in the sorrow of losing him. I just took care of him and waited there with Mom for him to go. This behavior was very different for me. I’m usually very emotional, especially about my dad.
I chose the verse because through the whole experience, I realized from whom my strength came. He never left me, in fact I had probably never felt as close to God in my life; I was completely focused and strengthened by Him. Again, He gave me what I needed, when I needed it, and I am grateful.
Pray for the caregivers you know. That they will be strengthened by God in their loving task. That it doesn't become a "job" for them and that they take the time to encourage those they care for while taking care of themselves. In this way they will continue to be mentally and physically strong.
. . .God has said,
"Never will I leave you;
never will I forsake you."
Today, I'm thinking of the many care givers I know. There's Angie taking care of her husband with back pain, Barb taking care of her mom with cancer and her aging dad, and Bill taking care of his wife with cancer. Down the street, there's Harold who is 82 himself, taking care of his wife with Alzheimer's, and there's Kate at work that just had to move her mom out of her home and into a nursing home but still manages here affairs. There's me and my husband who look after my, still independent, mom and Down Syndrome sister that depend mainly on us for transportation. I'll guess that anyone who reads this can come up with a few people they know with care giving responsibilities.
We need to be thoughtful and prayerful for these people. Care giving is a full time job. They do this for someone they love while still trying to maintain some semblance of order in their own lives, as well. It can be a daunting responsibility and very taxing on the caregivers, both physically and emotionally. We are taking care of our loved ones, watching them suffer, while filling their prescriptions, cooking for them, taking them to a from the doctor's office, and the bathroom. After a while, it can get pretty tough for the caregiver to keep his or her spirits up, and not become resentful, or let it become more of a job than a labor of love.
I speak from experience. During my late father's third Chemo treatment, he has his first heart attack. By the end of that week he had a triple bypass the lead to more than 30 days in the hospital. During that time, my brother and I assumed all responsibility for her transportation, and began to interface with the doctors, of whom there were several by then. Little things, like a dust ball under his bed, began to irritate me. Eventually, every night, when I came to pick up my mom and sister from the hospital, I would complain about it still being there. How it reflected the poor care he was getting. When in fact, he was getting excellent care, he was just really, really sick. One night, when I arrived, I saw the expression on both of my parents' faces change from "happy to see you" to "oh no, she's back". That's when I realized it had become a job for me, and not a good one. This was just the beginning, and I had to change my outlook, in order to lessen my parents' struggle, to make it easier somehow. After all, they were facing the possibility of saying good bye to one another after almost 50 years. All it took was a smile and a kiss from me to make things a bit easier on them.
My dad would be sick for a long time, before the Lord finally took him. My parents were able to celebrate their 50th year together and almost got to 51 before on Valentines Day, 2007, Dad just said he was tired of fighting, and Mom said that it was ok. He was gone two days later, at home, with all of us around him. It was very peaceful. In those two days, I stayed with Mom and took care of Dad's needs so she could say good by. Since then, as Valentines Day approaches, I try to remember if I said good by, thanks for being a great dad, I remember when you make me that wooden whistle for me and took me fishing - - boy did I love spending time with you. I just can't remember. What I do remember is that during those two days, I was completely focused on his care, setting up hospice that would allow him to stay at home, getting the right meds administered through a feeding tube (he always did it himself), and taking care of all the other indignities that go along with physical weakness. None of it bothered me in the sense that I was able to function, as needed. I didn't get caught up in the sorrow of losing him. I just took care of him and waited there with Mom for him to go. This behavior was very different for me. I’m usually very emotional, especially about my dad.
I chose the verse because through the whole experience, I realized from whom my strength came. He never left me, in fact I had probably never felt as close to God in my life; I was completely focused and strengthened by Him. Again, He gave me what I needed, when I needed it, and I am grateful.
Pray for the caregivers you know. That they will be strengthened by God in their loving task. That it doesn't become a "job" for them and that they take the time to encourage those they care for while taking care of themselves. In this way they will continue to be mentally and physically strong.
Saturday, February 6, 2010
So What's the Plan?
Psalm 139:16
You saw me before I was born.
Every day of my life was recorded in your book.
Every moment was laid out
before a single day had passed.
Listen to Francesca Battistellii song Free to Be Me, from her My Paper Heart album
Songwriter: Francesca Battistelli, Ian Eskelin, Tony Wood
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BKNLIkrHRf8&feature=related
The song starts out-
At twenty years of age, I’m still looking for a dream
A war’s already waged for my destiny
But You’ve already won the battle
And You’ve got great plans for me
Though I can’t always see
At twenty years old, I surely couldn't see what God's plan for me was. I wasn't even considering what God wanted for me because I had already made plans. I just made adjustments when they didn't quite work out. You see, my original plan was to be the first in my family to graduate from college. I was going to be a psychologist. Great plan, huh?
‘Cause I’ve got a couple dents in my fender
Got a couple rips in my jeans
Try to fit the pieces together but perfection is my enemy
On my own I’m so clumsy
But on Your shoulders I can see I’m free to be me
Speaking of adjustments; here's where the dents came in -- By the time I was 20 I had gotten married, had two children, and moved across the country; not exactly in that order. At 21 came baby number three and, by then, an unhappy marriage. At 26, I was working out of my home decorating cakes and babysitting to get ahead. I was driven, always searching for something more; perhaps that plan of mine. Nothing I did ever seemed to work out just right, though. Then, at a particularly tough time in my life, financially, I sincerely prayed. Not for help, but for money. I knew that was wrong and acknowledged that before God. I had been away from the church and never really prayed any more, but I needed some relief and He gave it to me.
When I was just a girl, I thought I had it figured out
See my life would turn out right and I’d make it here somehow
But things don’t always come that easy
And sometimes I would doubt
At 27, I got a real job and began taking every training course the company offered, and eventually began attending college classes. Along the way I did a lot of things I shouldn't have, but I was too proud to admit it. I got divorced and remarried, had my fourth child, and finally worked my way up to the big job, but I was still unsatisfied. I always felt like there was something missing in my life. Maybe I was searching for some redemption in all that work, or trying to make up for decisions I had made as a young woman. Maybe to make up for dreams lost. I started to think it might be too late, that I should just settle for how life turned out. It wasn't that bad after all. I had four great kids, by then two special grandchildren, (two more since then) and my husband and I had built a nice life together, despite several obstacles. So why was I so driven to find out what else I should be doing?
‘Cause I’ve got a couple dents in my fender
Got a couple rips in my jeans
Try to fit the pieces together but perfection is my enemy
On my own I’m so clumsy
But on Your shoulders I can see I’m free to be me
The dents in my fenders came early, and late, as a result of being too independent. I've gone through more than a few pairs of jeans, stumbling clumsily on my own. I felt I had to do it my way. I didn't need anyone elses help, and certainly not God's. He had already answered my prayer. The rest must be up to me. Right?
And you’re free to be you
Sometimes I believe that I can do anything
Yet other times I think I’ve got nothing good to bring
But You look at my heart and You tell me
That I’ve got all You seek
And it’s easy to believe, even though
Wrong. I began to soften while working on trying to accept this nice life of mine. Time will do that to a person. I began to realize my original dream had come true. I had graduated from college, had the house, the job, and the family. So now what? What else I should be doing? In my forties I began a church search to try and find out. I was raised going to church but got away from it in my teens. That's when I started "painting my own pictures", as my good friend would say, and not seeking Him. I visited several churches before finding one right in our neighborhood and finally started finding answers. I now understand that I was never alone; God was really with me all along. No matter what else was happening in my life I always had a job, and the job paid for all of my schooling. I’m not a psychologist, but I was able to accomplish what He planned for me and I’m using those tools here. As far as what He plans to do with me now, all I have to do was ask, and follow His direction. Now that I'm learning to do that, the feeling of discontent is leaving me. I feel more confident each day that I am doing what He wants me to do. I'm letting Him do the painting now, and life so much better.
You saw me before I was born.
Every day of my life was recorded in your book.
Every moment was laid out
before a single day had passed.
Listen to Francesca Battistellii song Free to Be Me, from her My Paper Heart album
Songwriter: Francesca Battistelli, Ian Eskelin, Tony Wood
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BKNLIkrHRf8&feature=related
The song starts out-
At twenty years of age, I’m still looking for a dream
A war’s already waged for my destiny
But You’ve already won the battle
And You’ve got great plans for me
Though I can’t always see
At twenty years old, I surely couldn't see what God's plan for me was. I wasn't even considering what God wanted for me because I had already made plans. I just made adjustments when they didn't quite work out. You see, my original plan was to be the first in my family to graduate from college. I was going to be a psychologist. Great plan, huh?
‘Cause I’ve got a couple dents in my fender
Got a couple rips in my jeans
Try to fit the pieces together but perfection is my enemy
On my own I’m so clumsy
But on Your shoulders I can see I’m free to be me
Speaking of adjustments; here's where the dents came in -- By the time I was 20 I had gotten married, had two children, and moved across the country; not exactly in that order. At 21 came baby number three and, by then, an unhappy marriage. At 26, I was working out of my home decorating cakes and babysitting to get ahead. I was driven, always searching for something more; perhaps that plan of mine. Nothing I did ever seemed to work out just right, though. Then, at a particularly tough time in my life, financially, I sincerely prayed. Not for help, but for money. I knew that was wrong and acknowledged that before God. I had been away from the church and never really prayed any more, but I needed some relief and He gave it to me.
When I was just a girl, I thought I had it figured out
See my life would turn out right and I’d make it here somehow
But things don’t always come that easy
And sometimes I would doubt
At 27, I got a real job and began taking every training course the company offered, and eventually began attending college classes. Along the way I did a lot of things I shouldn't have, but I was too proud to admit it. I got divorced and remarried, had my fourth child, and finally worked my way up to the big job, but I was still unsatisfied. I always felt like there was something missing in my life. Maybe I was searching for some redemption in all that work, or trying to make up for decisions I had made as a young woman. Maybe to make up for dreams lost. I started to think it might be too late, that I should just settle for how life turned out. It wasn't that bad after all. I had four great kids, by then two special grandchildren, (two more since then) and my husband and I had built a nice life together, despite several obstacles. So why was I so driven to find out what else I should be doing?
‘Cause I’ve got a couple dents in my fender
Got a couple rips in my jeans
Try to fit the pieces together but perfection is my enemy
On my own I’m so clumsy
But on Your shoulders I can see I’m free to be me
The dents in my fenders came early, and late, as a result of being too independent. I've gone through more than a few pairs of jeans, stumbling clumsily on my own. I felt I had to do it my way. I didn't need anyone elses help, and certainly not God's. He had already answered my prayer. The rest must be up to me. Right?
And you’re free to be you
Sometimes I believe that I can do anything
Yet other times I think I’ve got nothing good to bring
But You look at my heart and You tell me
That I’ve got all You seek
And it’s easy to believe, even though
Wrong. I began to soften while working on trying to accept this nice life of mine. Time will do that to a person. I began to realize my original dream had come true. I had graduated from college, had the house, the job, and the family. So now what? What else I should be doing? In my forties I began a church search to try and find out. I was raised going to church but got away from it in my teens. That's when I started "painting my own pictures", as my good friend would say, and not seeking Him. I visited several churches before finding one right in our neighborhood and finally started finding answers. I now understand that I was never alone; God was really with me all along. No matter what else was happening in my life I always had a job, and the job paid for all of my schooling. I’m not a psychologist, but I was able to accomplish what He planned for me and I’m using those tools here. As far as what He plans to do with me now, all I have to do was ask, and follow His direction. Now that I'm learning to do that, the feeling of discontent is leaving me. I feel more confident each day that I am doing what He wants me to do. I'm letting Him do the painting now, and life so much better.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
The Ultimate Artist
Jeremiah 18:6 (NLT)
6 “O Israel, can I not do to you as this potter has done to his clay? As the clay is in the potter’s hand, so are you in my hand.”
I’m an impatient person. When I was young my parents did their best to provide me with music & dance education. I took tap dancing, guitar, flute, and clarinet lessons all without success. I thought it should all come easier that it did, so when I wasn’t a performing artist right out of the gate I gave it up and became dissatisfied. I didn’t learn a thing about dance or music because I didn’t’ have the patience for practice or study.
In retrospect I’ve come to be more patient, at least in my Christian walk. I study God’s word daily and try my best to glorify Him through my words and actions. When I don’t understand a particular passage, I look for help from a friend or other resources. I do this because I know there is so much to learn that I may never get it all, but I keep working studying. I’m not good at meditating on God’s Word. I just can’t seem to clear my mind, but I practice everyday. Now, I can look back and see where a prayer was answered or when God disciplined me for going against His will. I pray every day and I’m learning to wait patiently for His direction.
I’ve placed myself in God’s hands, the ultimate artist, to be made over into the person He wants me to be. I’m being patient for the outcome of His handy work because the process has become so peaceful for me. No longer do I hold my husband, co-workers, or boss responsible for my happiness and success. I have relinquished myself and others of that burden and laid it before the Lord. I have only to trust Him; to be patient and trusting that He has a plan and purpose for me.
Is it easy? Sure, on some days more than others. On the others, though, I still spend time with the Lord. I know that sharing my thoughts here, with you, I’m experiencing a peace as never before. I just know that I’m doing what God wants me to do right now. Perhaps there is someone that will benefit from reading what He is saying through me. I hope this is so and trust that it is.
Know this; He has a plan and purpose for all of us. You have only to be patient and allow Him to be the potter; the artist at work in your life.
6 “O Israel, can I not do to you as this potter has done to his clay? As the clay is in the potter’s hand, so are you in my hand.”
I’m an impatient person. When I was young my parents did their best to provide me with music & dance education. I took tap dancing, guitar, flute, and clarinet lessons all without success. I thought it should all come easier that it did, so when I wasn’t a performing artist right out of the gate I gave it up and became dissatisfied. I didn’t learn a thing about dance or music because I didn’t’ have the patience for practice or study.
In retrospect I’ve come to be more patient, at least in my Christian walk. I study God’s word daily and try my best to glorify Him through my words and actions. When I don’t understand a particular passage, I look for help from a friend or other resources. I do this because I know there is so much to learn that I may never get it all, but I keep working studying. I’m not good at meditating on God’s Word. I just can’t seem to clear my mind, but I practice everyday. Now, I can look back and see where a prayer was answered or when God disciplined me for going against His will. I pray every day and I’m learning to wait patiently for His direction.
I’ve placed myself in God’s hands, the ultimate artist, to be made over into the person He wants me to be. I’m being patient for the outcome of His handy work because the process has become so peaceful for me. No longer do I hold my husband, co-workers, or boss responsible for my happiness and success. I have relinquished myself and others of that burden and laid it before the Lord. I have only to trust Him; to be patient and trusting that He has a plan and purpose for me.
Is it easy? Sure, on some days more than others. On the others, though, I still spend time with the Lord. I know that sharing my thoughts here, with you, I’m experiencing a peace as never before. I just know that I’m doing what God wants me to do right now. Perhaps there is someone that will benefit from reading what He is saying through me. I hope this is so and trust that it is.
Know this; He has a plan and purpose for all of us. You have only to be patient and allow Him to be the potter; the artist at work in your life.
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