Accepting His Authority

1 Peter 3:1


In the same way, you wives must accept the authority of your husbands. Then, even if some refuse to obey the Good News, your godly lives will speak to them without any words. They will be won over 2 by observing your pure and reverent lives.

Edited slightly on 1/29/2010

Yesterday was my husband’s birthday. I took the day off and devoted it to him. My youngest son and I decorated the night before. I bought a cheese cake, his favorite. We went to see The Book of Eli. I made Lasagna and then we celebrated with most of our children and grandchildren. It was a great day, and he deserved it.

When I first learned that wives are to submit to their husbands’ authority, I thought “are you kidding me”? Submit to my husband? I’m a strong, independent woman, I even had the minister who presided over our marriage omit the part about obeying my husband. God has since shown me how selfish I was, and how important being respectful to my husband really is.

I’ve always struggled to be something more. Always going to school and taking every training class offered at work, and attending even more to support my function at work. All in the hope of being recognized for my accomplishments, perhaps gaining a promotion or what I thought might be more important role in the organization, with some authority of my own.

I started attending college classes in t the early ‘90’s, taking one class at a time working my classes around my children’s school schedules and taking summers off. When my oldest son graduated from college in 2001, and I was still working at it, I decided to find an accelerated program and get it done. I knew that if I didn’t do it then, that I never would. By that time there were several schools in my area offering accelerated programs and on-line classes were also becoming popular. Well, I did both and finished my BBA in 2004. With my husband’s encouragement, I went on to complete an MBA in 2008, taking some time off in between to be available for my parents. It was during this time that we discovered my dad had cancer, he also had a heart attack and triple bypass in the middle of his cancer treatment, and then COPD took over.

All this time my husband took care of everything, and I mean everything; and me too. All this while working a full-time job. He never complained. I, however, was very stressed and not always appreciative of his efforts. Not recognizing him has head of our household. I had a Masters Degree after all, why would I submit to my husband’s authority? It still didn’t compute and my inability to give up my perceived right to leadership of our family was beginning to make things difficult between us.

Early last spring my church started to form Life Transformation Groups (LTG) and, knowing I was seeking the Lord, my Pastor recommended I join. The purpose is to get into the Word, and to hold group members accountable for certain things. At the outset, each of us chose an area to which we would hold ourselves accountable, and when we don’t live up to God’s intent for us, we confess it to the safety of the group, pray about it, and ask God for forgiveness. I chose to learn to be respectful to my husband in the hope that he would see a change in me that might bring him closer to God.

My husband is still taking care of everything. He’s been unemployed for the last couple of years now, and has assumed the daily responsibility of taking care of my mom and sister, who has Downs Syndrome. He drives them to their doctor’s appointments, takes my sister to her day program, and my mom grocery shopping. He even checks in on a couple of seniors in the neighborhood. Still, he never complains.

I’m not perfect, I “lose it” occasionally, still wanting to control things, but I think I’m getting better. At least I pray I am. Through the LTG study and concentrated prayer, I now see my husband for the kind, giving person he is. I am so grateful to God for bringing us together. My husband isn’t saved yet, but by following God’s direction for me, in 1 Peter 3:1, I pray that my actions will bring him closer to God so that he may experience the joy that being close to God brings.