I haven't posted anything since June 29th. Why?
Distraction is how the Enemy attacks. Why do we always have something pressing, something that must be done, something that just can't wait?
Procrastination is how the Enemy attacks. How is it that I could find anything more important than obeying God immediately?
Doubt is how the Enemy attacks. Why do I doubt myself, my ability, my worth when God has made me with all the competence I'll ever need to do what He has planned for my life?
Anxiety is how the Enemy attacks. Why do I have the tight, sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach?
God has been working on me for months to get back to writing. I enjoy it very much and it's helped lead me to have open discussions about Christ with others. So, why haven't I obeyed?
I didn't really recognize what was happening until that sinking feeling began. Only for a minute or two, once in a while. I didn't connect the dots until I started a Bible Class at Church a few weeks ago. All of this time, I was being attacked.
I began to realized that I got distracted with the Summer routine when we are away most weekends. I stayed in the Word, but not as much. The study group I was attending on Monday nights dissolved, and other activities took its place. Because I was away a lot, I lost touch with my Church family; I wasn't there on Sunday to attend church. That's distraction.
I thought of great topics to write about. I had God things happening in my life and wanted to write about them, but... My computer crashed, so without that my office became a storage room so much that I couldn't even get to the desk. I had to take care of my garden and, oh how I love my garden. That's procrastination.
Some people at work asked about my blog and I invited them to visit it, but then began to be guarded in what I wrote. I though, am I worthy of writing about God, about my Christian walk. Am I truly a good example of how a Christian should behave. I didn't want to sound like I knew it, because I don't. That's doubt.
The Bible study I'm attending in on Philippians and Colossians. At the second class one of the ladies said our Church must be doing something right because a lot of our members are under attack. We have many with new health, financial issues. These events seem to be occurring in the midst of a renewal our Church is experiencing. WOW! That made my whole perspective change. I finally connected the dots.
That sinking, anxious feeling started right around the time school started. That's when our weekend excursions start winding down. We're in town and back at church. Then I joined the Bible study, which requires the purchase of an inexpensive study guide. The first week found me putting off that purchase until I really had no time to adequately prepare for the second class. Then she said it, a lot of us are under attack, we must be doing something right.
The Enemy attacks to come between us and God. He doesn't want us to build that all important relationship with Him. He attacks our health, finances, and emotions. He's been working on me in all areas. My finances were first a few years ago, but we've over come that. My health recently, and that is under control. Now, my emotions in the form of this anxious feeling.
I recognized it because it wasn't the first time. I had experienced it about two years ago, when I joined the study group that met on Mondays, I mentioned earlier. It was very strong then, but with my team members, my Pastor, and focus on the Word the feeling quickly went away.
I must be doing something right. My relationship with God is growing and the Enemy doesn't like it. Well, that's OK, because I'm not fighting this battle alone, and neither are you. God is always on our side.
